Funny Stories & Memories

Soggy Scottish Power

I used to work with Chris and often we would meet up in town on the same path and jog to work. I was the same as Chris in the sense that we would both sign into our computers with about 30 seconds to spare. We met up one morning in some pretty bad rain with neither of us an umbrella and soggy shoes. As we walked over the causeway the rain started to really belt it down, we jogged as fast as possible and laughed whilst jogging and getting completely soaked though. We arrived at reception on time but unable to go to our desks as we were so wet- Kev- Chris’s boss was not impressed and sent us home to get dry. Even though we looked really stupid we were well chuft to get out of work for half a day, only joking we was really gutted to miss half a day’s work at ‘Scottish Power’ :/


Funny Stories & Memories


cant beleive your no longer with us m8 il always remember the days in newquay we had some great times together, like gettin kicked out of the vicbars for turning the jukebox off becuase they put meatloaf on when we was watchin the uk subs lol you robbing the bench from outside the centel and the police making u take it back lol the srooms u laid in ya window for 2 days like a cat so many good memorys i will never forget you my friend xx   my condolences  to all your freinds and family x

Funny Stories & Memories

Smooth operator

I met Chris for the first time at Jen and Ste’s wedding, how cute did he look in his suit? Towards the end of the night and following lots of drinking and dancing a crowd of us moved to the ‘lounge bar’ having sniffed out a possible late drink. Chris was suitably popped up and grinning like a cheshire cat right at my mum! Oh no had Chris taken a liking to Anne? Yes I’m afraid he had, but would he act upon this? Yes he would. In top flirting mode and puckering up Chris smiled at Anne and said “F*%king alright, you’re alright you monkey’s mam” to which my dad replied “I know that’s why she’s with me”, we all started laughing, Chris continued to grin at Anne, Anne looked chuffed and my dad looked concerned about the bar shutters being down. This didn’t deter Chris in any way as he went in search of a beer, up went the shutters with a crash, bang wollop as the glasses hanging above the bar smashed. We all cheered and Jen raised her glass, a cracked glass!

I’ll always remember Chris and chuckle when I think of that night, Anne remembers him as the cheeky one that tried to kiss her, whilst Frank remembers him as the one that was that drunk he fancied Anne!

God bless mate you’ll always be a legend,

Monkey, Anne & Frank x



Funny Stories & Memories

Aint no Pleasin you…

I had one of the greatest days of my life with Chris when we went to see Chas n Dave perform in Liverpool in the Summer pops Festival in 2008.  We caught the train from Central in the morning and got to Lime Street.  Not knowing how heavily policed the station was going to be, I  had some “Items” on my person that the police Sniffer dogs may have cottoned on to, and would have put a swift end to the day. Murph quickly hatched a plan to get me passed without detection and as we approached the exit, Murph swiftly made a bee line for the dog and in a strange wiggle of his arse, distracted the hound and bemused the stone faced officer with a Mick Jagger-esque impersonation.

Straight out of the station and into the nearest offy to pick up 4 cans of Holsten Pils each and we headed down to the various stages with some really good Cream and Roxy Music cover bands.  A few cans and other “items”  well in the system,  the sun beamed down as Chaz Hodges and Dave Peacock owned the whole city centre and replaced the words to “Margate” with “bootle”, much to the crowds delight.

Safe to say, when they ripped into London Girls, one voice in the crowd could be heard above the rest…..


Funny Stories & Memories

Rock n Roll Raindance

Carmel College, 23rd September 1993.  The 1st proper public performance of our band Necropolis BZ.

It was a college band night and the place was buzzing, 200-300 people altogether, mostly students.  The nervous energy was in overdrive.  We had been rehearsing 4 of our own tunes (I think that was probably all we had at the time) and we thought they were AMAZING; surely a record deal and world stardom was just around the corner… err, yeah ok, haha… The naivety of deluded teenage dreams.

The event management (some disorganised students) kept telling us “you’re on next” and then changing their minds and pushing us down the bill, it must have happened at least 4 times and we were getting angry about it because we kept getting psyched up towards going up on stage and then having it pulled out from under us.

As it turned out, we ended up playing right  when the crowd was at its peak in terms of size and energy, and we blasted our way through the first three tunes, at about twice their normal speed and we were loving it.  On the count in to the last song we got told that time was up and we had to get off stage.  Gutted.  I remember looking out into the lights and the crowd, knowing they were loving it (probably not as much as we were) and said “Awww they won’t let us play”… a quick whip round of glances round the band later, it was back on.  No way were they gonna tell us to get off OUR STAGE, “1,2,3,4….” and off we went.

Can’t remember what tune it was, but what I will always remember is halfway through it Chris suddenly had some kind of jazz attack, stopped playing, slung his guitar down on the floor centre stage, and started doing a flailing red indian style war dance round it for a few seconds, with the rest of us watching open mouthed as he then looked up and launched himself off the end of the stage and into the crowd, surfing briefly before going under and out of sight.  Rock & Roll!  We wrapped up the tune without him, and at the end I followed his lead, diving into the crowd who managed to part just in time to let me fall pretty much untouched from 10 feet high onto my arse and back.  Due to the adrenaline rush, I just bounced right up and ran off (limping) to find the boys backstage.  We were buzzing for weeks afterwards.

Somewhere, somebody has a grungy old VHS tape of this gig.  Matt Halliwell or Dazzy T maybe…. Hope it survived!  Would be ace to stick it up on here.

Funny Stories & Memories

The ‘One-Liner’ Expert

At a party one night there was one bloke being a complete idiot.

Chris was talking to someone and mentioned that this bloke was the biggest @>?* he’d come across in his life.

The bloke he was talking to was also a bit of an idiot and said that the other bloke was his mate.

Within a split second Chris proptly replied “Oh sorry mate, I meant he’s the second biggest @>?* I’ve come across”…

Classic Murph

Funny Stories & Memories

Ste Chris & Matt Rap

St Oswalds 4th Year juniors. The stutter rap was just out. see link below

Chris thought it would be a good idea for him me and Ste to do our own version. ” Ste, Chris & Matt’s Rap Station”

Cant remember it all but this was doffo in it

“Ste, Chris & Matt’s Rap station is here and,

Rapping is our claim to fame

But the teachers just think that were a pain

Once you’ve heard this song then dont get bored

Go out and buy the Record”

It seemed to do the trick & get us lots of girl attention at the time.

Funny Stories & Memories

Chris’s Shed

We all used to hang out in Chris’s shed for Summer. (Like Dawsons Creek – We’ll always have the Summer)

 Chris’s shed was the coolest space to hang because it was all done up with G-N-R posters and JackDaniels – Warrington Rugby posters – When we were the Wire & not the wolves.

Great times hanging around teaching each other guitar licks and pretending we were the Rolling Stones or Guns and Roses.

We once did an impromptu gig on the roof of the kitchen for anyone that happened to be walking past.  We felt like the Beatles playing the roof gig they did – wouldnt have sounded that good but it didnt matter we were having a good laugh.

Funny Stories & Memories

Russian Hat

The first time I ever met Chris was in ‘The Cask’ in Scarborough. Scarborough being Scarborough was freezing cold as it is in summer or winter. I’d just finished my shift on the buses and was wearing my ‘Equalizer’ coat and my new Russian hat. Chris was there with friends and family and we got talking. He was such an amiable character that I ended up leaving the pub without my new hat. He had a fancy for it so I gave it to him. Don’t know if he wore it around Warrington though. He was such a nice guy and I really mean that. God bless.

Funny Stories & Memories

The Policeman’s Helmet…

What’s the Black Crowes and a Policeman’s Helmet got in common?


Here’s a tune from The Black Crowes who Chris and several mates went to watch in Manchester…

Black Crowes, The – Hard To Handle

Fast forward a few steps and the following morning Chris was showing off his latest addition to his collection…

Manchester Police Hat

A lovely Greater Manchester police Hat!

I wonder if the policeman got told off for losing his hat???

Well in Chris!


Chris's Music

Love/Hate – Tranquilizer

Chris recorded a version of the intro to this song for a music composition assignment at either school or college.  Told them he wrote it too.  I only hope it still exists on a tape or disc somewhere; there are few things in life I would appreciate more than to getting my ears around that recording someday.  A lost treasure.

Funny Stories & Memories

Bacon for the Bros


"Tongs? Nah, I'll be alright."

This rather unremarkable snapshot is from 13 March 2011/Boys night in at Mark & Maria’s old gaff.

Me & Chris drove up together a while after the other boys as we had dad duties to attend to.  Not seeing each other often due to 1 thing & another (mainly as I have been in London for the last 10 years) we had a really good, quiet, sober 1 to 1 catch up on the journey, and for old times sake listened to Amorica by The Black Crowes for the 1st time in years; both of us blown away about actually how good an album it was.  *Confession* we raided Sarah’s room at Murphy towers for this and 1 or 2 other CD’s before we set off.   Which reminds me….

After picking Chris up from his wee cottage, we drove to his Mum & Dad’s to pick up a box of bits, bobs and memorabilia belonging to the original landlords of The Gypsey Tavern, so Chris could hand it all back to Ste.  We popped out to the Murphy shed – which was a real blast from the past, considering that a few of us practically lived there during our late teens.  Out came the box, and he starts sifting through the items showing me stuff, he pulled out a boddingtons bar towel and a mouse jumped up and scared the bejesus out of him.  I nearly wet myself with laughter as he squealed like a girl and said “f*** this, I’m off, you empty the box!”  and disappeared back into the house.  Charming.  So I slowly took everything out piece by piece, no sign of the mouse though.  Anyway, eventually he came out again “done it yet?”, “yeah just about” and then he picked the bottom item out of the box and the mouse jumped right up and out of the box.  Chris jumped twice as high.  Pure comedy.

We got to Mark’s, the lads had already had 1 or 2, Ste Whitt feeling a bit amorous was getting the old frisky wobble in his legs and kept repeatedly kissing me on the dome.  AND I saw Andy awake after midnight for probably the first time this century. Quite remarkable.

Anyway, after a night shooting pool in Marky G’s garage, must have been 2 or 3 O’Clock, Chris decides he’s gonna feed us all with Mark & Maria’s bacon.  That’s him working the grill in the photo.  Someone offered him the tongs after we saw him sharply letting go of each piece of hot bacon whilst trying to turn them with his hands.  But he declined, and to much mirth proceeded to continue dramatically burning his fingers with bubbling bacon juice, muttering complaints to himself until the butties were done.  And much needed they were too.  Nice one Murf 🙂 Bro