Funny Stories & Memories

Collapsing table of beer…

Many of us will remember Murph’s 21st in his mum and dad’s garden with all his mates and family.

Tony had set up a ‘wallpaper pasting table’ to handle the booze that the family provided and people brought. That turned out to be a misjudgement!

The table promptly collapsed under the weight and there was a rescue mission to save the booze!

Tony got told to go bed after a few too many wines, got red wine on his white top, and was asking everyone if they wanted a blow on his digeridoo!

We all had a great time! I can still remember the fun we had.

Happy days…

Chris's Music

You Couldn’t Make it up…

Almost a year on from losing Murph, we get some ‘good’ news from the coroners inquest into his death, with hope that someone will be held to account.

As his family and friends go to the old haunt of ‘The Barley Mow’ for a beer (courtesy of his dad Tony (thank you!)), when it comes time for many people to leave, a familiar tune is recognised from the duke box.

The duke box is completely on random, so what’s the chances of hearing the Black Crowes’ tune ‘She Talks to Angels’ at that very moment (never mind, in general).

We used to play this in the band BZ, and Murph loved the Black Crowes.

It sent chills to a few of us followed by a grin and some table tapping at the right moments.

‘You couldn’t have made it up’

Well in Murph…

Chris's Music

We nearly heard it…

For those who went to send Murph off at the crematorium, you’ll know he must have been laughing his head off when there was a power cut at the crem and the whole proceedings ground to a halt. Typical Murph.

Vicky was a star and stood in with a few live tunes but here’s the tune he would have been sent off to.

I can’t find a video of it but the tune is probably more significant on it’s own, with our own memories filling in the void of the video. He wouldn’t have chose a better tune himself.

The sunshine of your smile by Chas ‘n’ Dave…

Chas & Dave – The Sunshine Of Your Smile



Funny Stories & Memories

Salmonella – Near Miss

When we lived in Scarborough Chris and a few others come up to see us.

After a fun night drinking we went to the local Mongolian buffet restaurant the next day, where you chose you own raw ingredients, put them in a bowl, add a bit of sauce and spice to your liking, then take it to the cooking area for the chefs to cook it in a wok for you (£3.99 all you can eat).

I don’t know why Chris thought we were all queuing up with our bowls but he must have been hungry and decided to bypass the unnecessary queue and went and sat down with his ‘meal’.

Just a second before tucking in to his meal a Chinese waiter ran over saying “scuse me, scuse me” to stop him eating the raw chicken (amongst other raw delights).

He got told of his mistake by the waiter and a red-faced Chris joined the back of the ‘cooking’ queue behind Jen, saying “Don’t f’in say anything”!


Chris's Music

Love/ Hate

I didn’t realise how many memories this would bring back. The BZ boys jamming in my mums front room. I think a few of these even got played in a gig or two (as well as Terry’s music rooms);


Funny Stories & Memories

One Hundred and Fowwwtttyyyyy

I think most of us grew up watching Bullseye on a Sunday afternoon.

These days whenever I see darts on TV it always reminds me of Chris shouting ‘One Hundred and Fowwtttyyyy’ in his best cockney accent. That would be shortly followed by his sound clips from Bullseye such as ‘iiiiiiiiiinnnnnnn one’.

Few clips below;

Click to listen to bully’s moo

And the bullseye theme … and here:

Bully’s Prize Board…

A few funny clips from Bullseye…

Funny Stories & Memories

The ‘One-Liner’ Expert

At a party one night there was one bloke being a complete idiot.

Chris was talking to someone and mentioned that this bloke was the biggest @>?* he’d come across in his life.

The bloke he was talking to was also a bit of an idiot and said that the other bloke was his mate.

Within a split second Chris proptly replied “Oh sorry mate, I meant he’s the second biggest @>?* I’ve come across”…

Classic Murph

Funny Stories & Memories

The Policeman’s Helmet…

What’s the Black Crowes and a Policeman’s Helmet got in common?


Here’s a tune from The Black Crowes who Chris and several mates went to watch in Manchester…

Black Crowes, The – Hard To Handle

Fast forward a few steps and the following morning Chris was showing off his latest addition to his collection…

Manchester Police Hat

A lovely Greater Manchester police Hat!

I wonder if the policeman got told off for losing his hat???

Well in Chris!


Funny Stories & Memories

Rude gifts from holidays…

Chris and his family went to Majorca most years from what I remember.

Every year he’d come back with a holiday pressie for me. Every year it was along the same theme… something rude.

To give you an idea here’s one very similar to one I got when I was about 8. Enough to say the barrel goes up and down and there is a spring involved. This one isn’t quite as dirty as the one he got me, which has stuck on grey hair from a rabbit for added effect.

man in a barrel

I received various gifts along the same lines.

Typical murph giggling as he hand it over to me and sees my mums face.

Funny Stories & Memories


Whilst on bob’s stag doo in newquay, we were getting ready for a second night out.

Chris was in the men’s room which was next to where all the beds were.

After a night on the guiness the day before he had a lot to shift.

There was no mistaking the noises from the bathroom but in a vain attempt to disguise it chris shouted ‘achoo’ about 1 second too late.


Funny Stories & Memories

“A Blow, Blow – A Blow Suede Shows”

Several years ago in the Noggin pub, we were having an annual Christmas get together with Chris and all his mates.

Karaoke was on, so after getting ‘loosened up’ Chris decided he was good enough to be Elvis.

He chose Blue Suede shoes to sing, but in his best Elvis voice sung “A Blow, Blow – A Blow Suede Shows…”.

This was funny enough until he started going on his tip toes (sort of like Elvis). This drew attention to his ‘not so blue suede shoes’. In fact they were skanky trainers!

Chris as Elvis